Setting new year's intentions through your authentic self
If you only had 1 year to live how would you spend it?
"Your inner luminosity is calling you to awaken to your full power and clarity" - Tracee Stanley
Hey Friends,
Before you set your intentions for 2024, I have a few questions for you to reflect on.
If you only had one year to live, how would you spend it? What would you do? What would you not do? We are six weeks away from the new year. I invite you to use these three questions as a guide to set your intentions for the new year. These questions are prompts in one of the many exercises in Tracee Stanley's book The Luminous Self. Tracee shares her personal transformation story and presents several practices we can use to get closer to our authentic selves. This practice resonated with me the most out of all the exercises. When answered in five minutes, these powerful questions bring our authentic, unfiltered desires to the surface.
People who live through authenticity lead more fulfilled and purposeful lives. When we were kids, we expressed ourselves freely without shame or doubt – until most of us were encouraged not to. We naturally gravitated toward activities and things that piqued our interests.
"People have two basic needs. Attachment and authenticity. When authenticity threatens attachment… attachment trumps authenticity." Dr. Gabor Maté
At some point in our lives, many of us are taught to twist and mold ourselves to fit others' expectations. That might show up as a willingness to disappoint yourself by choosing a career that doesn't disappoint your parents, shape-shifting to suit every romantic partner's desires or lifestyle, or buying things and investing in experiences you don't like to fit in with your friend group. Most of us are guilty of some, if not all, of these at some point. Without self-awareness, we lose ourselves in the quest to belong.
Without those expectations and constraints, who are you?
"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that really isn't you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place" Paulo Coelho
Can you remember your first incident that planted the seed that your natural essence wasn't good enough or acceptable? I received one of my earliest lessons in conforming while learning to write. I was born a lefty. In some cultures, it's taboo. I was trained to make my right hand dominant to fit into a righty-centric world.
As we prepare to set intentions for 2024, what would they be if envisioned through the fullest expression of your authentic self? Which layers do you want to shed and leave behind?
Have you ever observed those folks who live fully through their essence? They are light and present. They are okay with not being liked by everyone because expressing who they are outweighs external validation. Those who live through the highest expression of themselves are in tune with who they are; they can intentionally curate and manifest the lives they want.
Through authenticity, you will move toward more aligned career paths, find and know your people, and design an existence of the least resistance.
More authenticity is what I wish for us in the coming year. If you had one year to live, who would you be? This exercise goes further in-depth, breaking it down to your ideal last minute on earth. I highly recommend the book The Luminous Self as a guide for this inner work. Below, are more recommendations and resources to help you reconnect with yourself.
Enjoy setting your intentions.
Here are 5 resources you can use to help bring you back to your authentic self.
Meditation
Practices such as meditation are great emotional excavation tools that help chip away at our ego or false self. Going inward and taking lessons from the thoughts and emotions that arise can raise your awareness of things that are missing in your life.
Journaling
Journaling is a great way to gain perspective on your thoughts or past incidents. Morning pages are a great exercise to get your unfiltered thoughts down on paper. It's a practice from Writer Julia Cameron's book The Artist’s Way. While the book is meant for stuck creatives looking to reconnect with their creative essence, it's a great exercise to practice getting your unfiltered thoughts down on paper. Before you switch on your digital device in the morning, write three pages longhand.
Therapy/ Coaching
Working with a professional might be the best bet for some. A therapist can help you reflect and process childhood trauma that might have caused you to come up with coping mechanisms that don't allow your authentic self to shine as an adult. While therapy is excellent for processing, working with a coach can help you map out action steps to move forward.
Childhood Reflections
Revisiting your childhood memories and identifying activities you naturally gravitated toward, natural gifts you displayed, and interests you were obsessed with can be a great place to start. There were instances when we might have expressed interests in certain dreams only to have our parents disapprove of those aspirations. Defeated, we choose career paths that fit someone else's definition of success instead of pursuing what we truly desire.
Books
Books are a great source of guidance and mentorship.
Here is a list of books that explore ways to help you get closer to your authentic self:
Home Coming by Thema Bryant, Ph.D.
The Luminous Self by Tracee Stanley-Newell
The Book of Darma by Simon Haas