Only 10-15% are self-aware
Improve your relationships by increasing your external self-awareness
In this newsletter:
The difference between internal and external self-awareness
The importance of cultivating external self-awareness
An exercise to cultivate external self-awareness
“Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one’s awareness of one’s ignorance.”– Anthony de Mello
Hey friends,
I hope you are well. Lately, I've been thinking about how we continue cultivating self-awareness, particularly external self-awareness. Have you ever asked people for feedback to understand how others perceive you? We all have blind spots.
Fun fact: According to Dr. Eurich and her team's research, 95% of people think they are self-aware, but only 10-15% are. This was shocking to me. Lack of self-awareness affects our personal relationships and can also negatively impact our careers.
This insight inspired me to continue an exercise I started: asking family members and friends about their perceptions of me and what I could improve based on their interactions. The main intention of gathering these insights is to better understand and improve how I interact and connect with others.
Let's define self-awareness. Self-awareness expert Dr. Tasha Eurich defines self-awareness as the ability to see ourselves clearly, to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.
There are two types of self-awareness.
Internal self-awareness: An understanding of who you are, your passions, your values, and what you want to do.
External self-awareness: Knowing how others perceive or see you.
Mastering both will help you navigate your relationships and live a more fulfilled and connected life.
It's essential to ask the right people these questions so that your insight gathering can be helpful in your self-development journey. The people you choose to receive feedback from need to want the best for your growth and provide honest and constructive feedback.
Some friends will actively provide constructive feedback with the best intentions. Many people won't because we tend to shy away from difficult conversations for fear of upsetting or hurting others. So it can be beneficial to ask.
Each time I have one of these conversations, my stomach twists into a knot, anticipating the constructive feedback. It was great hearing the positive perceptions people had as well. They affirmed positive qualities about me that I don't appreciate enough. Receiving constructive feedback can sometimes be uncomfortable, but facing discomfort and hard truths is an opportunity for growth. The feedback I received uncovered a couple of blind spots I overlooked. Overall, I left each conversation feeling more confident. I'm looking forward to having more. I invite you to ask some trusted people in your life for feedback.
Cultivating external self-awareness is more than just a one-and-done exercise. We must remain open to receiving feedback at different stages in life as we are not static beings. Have you ever done this exercise or something similar? How did it go for you? If you haven't, I invite you to challenge yourself to get feedback from one person in the coming week.
Here, Dr. Eurich shares three strategies for increasing self-awareness. Though most of her work focuses on increasing self-awareness in the workplace, we can adopt some strategies for increasing self-awareness in other relationships and interactions.
Wishing you a great week ahead. Until next time.
xo
Carly